I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
