As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
