Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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