Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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