our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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