woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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