What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
