goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
