I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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