Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize