yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
