end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
