So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
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I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize