Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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