the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
