Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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