she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
