it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
