I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
