first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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