Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
