More tranny stories later!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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