Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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