I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
