I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
