i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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