He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
