Where did you get a picture of my penis
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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