I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
