I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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