My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
