singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
