do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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