good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
