Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
