...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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