i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
