My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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