You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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