Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
