yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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