uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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