when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
