My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
