i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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