you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
