did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Im part way to drunk.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
