i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
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I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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