Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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