yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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