Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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