I'm jealous of your bromance
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
