ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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