Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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