So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
