You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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