I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
