He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
