Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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