he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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